Monday, March 21, 2011


Sacrifice: The sense of something given up for the sake of another
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I've really debated whether or not I want to blog about this next subject. I, in no way, want to turn this blog into a place where I talk about negative things all the time...thats just not me.

However, the more I think about this particular subject, the more irritated, hurt, annoyed, and sad I become. I cannot stress enough the fact I am not writing this to make you feel sorry for me, or to make myself sound like a debby downer. I think it is healthy to talk about your feelings. This is just a subject that has been weighing heavily on my heart.

Plain and simple...I am tired of being a working mom. I'm tired of having someone else watch my child for 10 hours Tuesday-Friday (that in no way means I don't LIKE who watches my child because I am very grateful for the childcare I have-family-doesn't get better than that). I am just tired of not being with my child throughout the week.

When I first went back to work after having 3 months of maternity leave, it was extremely hard. Then as time progressed, I had the attitude of "well, this is what has to be done, so I might as well make the best of it." I went about my day, tried to keep myself busy and looked forward to the evenings and weekends.

Well here I am after 9 months of working and I'm tired of having that attitude. To be completely honest, I'm tired of convincing myself that its okay...lots of moms work full time-I can totally do this! Can I totally do I want to-NO. Here is where I find my mind wandering lately: Why can't I be a stay at home mom? Why can't I take my child to the park in the middle of the week instead of waiting until the weekend? Why can't I meet up with other moms for lunch/play dates? And you know what word comes to mind EVERY time I have this stupid conversation with myself? Sacrifice

As a mother, it is impossible to not look at your own mother as an example of motherhood. I have been blessed with an amazing mother who is not only my best friend, but an amazing example to me of motherhood. As I reflect back on my childhood, there is not one event that I can remember her not being involved in. She home schooled me until 8th grade-obviously during that time she did not work. She sacrificed her time to teach me. Also, because she did not work, I'm sure my parents had to sacrifice a lot  due to lack of income on her part. What a huge sacrifice! During those years of course I did not realize or really think about that but now looking you mom for sacrificing things so that you could teach me at home. When I went to school my freshman year she worked at the school and eventually worked at the church. We rode to school/work every day and then if I had practice or school activities she was there or picked me up afterwards. She was at every game I played in, every award ceremony, and every big event. She sacrificed once again. She went to work so that I could have a high school education, have money for sports, buy prom dresses, and be an expensive teenager! =) So once again mom, thank you for sacrificing your time, energy, and wallet for me.

With all that said, no matter if I am a full time working mother, or a stay at home mother...I've realized sacrifice is inevitable. Yes, I work full time-but I sacrifice so that my child can grow up in a nice home. I sacrifice so that I can afford to buy diapers, food, clothing, toys, and healthcare. When I look at it that way, it makes it easier to swallow.

I pray every morning, as I drive to work after dropping my child off, that someday God would allow me to experience the sacrifice of a stay at home mother. However, until that day comes, I will continue to sacrifice my time, energy, and wallet for my child.


  1. LOVED THIS BLOG!!! It is so true, on both ends of the totally requires sacrifice on both ends...and they are both hard in their own way. I applaud you for your what you do! I can't imagine what it would be like, and I (try) not to take it for granted that I stay home...although to be totally honest, there are days, I would lOVE to trade places with Jer. It's funny cause I read your facebook posts somedays and I can tell you would just rather be home with your lil man! My prayer is that someday you will be able to do that! Keep praying...God will give you the desires of your heart! In the meantime...just remember, "The joy of the Lord is your strength!" Love ya!

  2. Hi,
    You've not met me. I came around to your blog by James Gregory's Ephesians blog.
    Your pain is palpable. Your words searingly echo so many working moms who bravely drive off to their jobs, after passing off their precious child to another, crying each time she does so.
    You're not a debby downer. You are a real woman, created in God's image, who aches for something that seems beyond your grasp.
    I hope you will not categorize me as a frieda fixer when I suggest a book title to you that has helped thousands of mothers and fathers in your circumstance. It's called "Women Leaving the Workplace" by Larry Burkett (who founded Crown Financial Concepts, now Crown Financial Ministries).
    I will be praying for you. I'm a stranger to you but we are connected through God and His love for His creation.
    In Jesus,
    ~Patricia in California

  3. Wow...thank you for your encouragement Patricia! It truly means a lot. I will have to check that book out-I'm always up for a good read! Thanks again, and feel free to follow my posts, do you yourself have a blog or a wordpress?

  4. Thanks Jen...I appreciate your prayers! And believe you me...sometimes on days where work sucks, I often remind myself of that very scripture =) Love ya too!!

  5. Hi Lindsay,

    Thank you for your response. I'm glad you were encouraged--mission accomplished!

    I do not have a blog but thank you for asking!
    I realized after I sent my post I made a wee error regarding Larry Burkett's ministry. It should have read "Christian" Financial Concepts.

    How are you doing? I've been praying for you.